2018-07-07 - 7:52 a.m.
Him. Its always been him. Since that very first glance...filled with nervous energy and eyes that were only meant to see each other in that moment. It has always been him. We are writing again, this time feels more passionate (I didn't know that was possible). This time I want him more than ever. I want him here. I want him in my world...my real world. I want a plan. I want it all. I don't know how to tell him I have kids. i dont know what he will say. Losing him once was painful beyond measure, I just can't lose him again. He makes my heart feel full. he makes me want to love him for eternity and that wouldn't even be long enough. Who am I? He changes me. He makes me good. So many I love yous we have said over the past few weeks. He said he has never felt this strong for someone before. That I bring out of soft side of him. I love him beyond what I have ever known or felt. I would marry him. I would marry the effing shit outta him. Why...why is life such a tedious path? Why did we meet? This is very real. My love for him is real. I need him here. I need him.